Little Johnny
A young man named Johnny bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, I have some bad news. The donkey is on my truck, but I'm afraid he's dead."
Johnny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "I can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Johnny said, "Just unload the donkey anyway."
The farmer asked, "What are you going to do with him?"
Johnny said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
But Johnny, with a big smile on his face, said "O yes I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody that he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Johnny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Johnny said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $798.00."
Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"
Johnny replied, "The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his $2 back plus $200 extra, which is double the going value of a donkey, so he thought I was a really great guy."
Johnny grew up and eventually became the Prime Minister of Australia, and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he stole from Aussie voters, as long as he gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them thought he was a great guy.
Hey Kim! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Go on Kim, you know you want to.
You've been doing it for years so what's the holdup this time?
It's so much easier seeing what the Liberals do and then saying exactly the same thing - I understand that.
I'm sure you could give him a call - see how he build up his nerve.
Goddammitt Kim! Robert Doyle's been gone for more that 12 hours now - when are you going to follow?
Do yourself and the party a favour.
I wait with baited breath...
Note to ALP: Why are you fucking this up?
If the ALP had any spine at all, they would have put Julia Gillard in the leadership position back at the beginning of last year.
Beazley's nothing but a huge waste of space in the position - doing nothing but damage to the party as he 'Me Too's his way through issues as they come up. Howard's a fucking disgrace and the electorate is beginning to wake up to that fact but when they look at the alternative what else can they see but a desperate imitator on the same issues.
Now we hear that Beazley can't remember the name of a single one of the five SA senators. He's a retard - either literally with the brain disorder or figuratively because of his incompetence. This is no better than Howard or Downer or Vaile on AWB.
If the ALP hadn't made the gutless move of putting Beazley back in 16 months ago, the momentum to rid this country of the filth that is our government would be massive - an irresistable force! As it is, if an election was called for a month from now, there'd be nothing to stop them romping back in.
That's just fucking irresponsible, ALP. You're the opposition - do your job properley or go the fuck home and let someone in who wants to help.